Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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