i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
