i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
