I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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