i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
