We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
