Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
