Me too!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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