Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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