i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
