what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
