hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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