I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Randomize
