I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
