I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need moral support for this bender
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize