Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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