i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
