If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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