You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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