i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
