operation harelip BJ is a go
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
