Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
