I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
