No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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