I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
