she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
