you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My feet surprised me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
