How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
