I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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