Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
