I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
