at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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