There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
