I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
