How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
this hospital has no fireball
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
