tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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