I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
