I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
