Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
