we're blogging at a bar
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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