We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You made out with two different species that night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
