Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
