Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
