Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
