I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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