I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize