she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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