I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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