I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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