but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
