Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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