i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
