it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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