it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
