Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
