my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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