I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize