GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
