Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize