Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
